Mind & Body

I have no intention in turning my blog into a Baby Center bulletin board or more appropriately a grieving post. I am staying positive; Guillermo and I are getting over our loss with much love and support from our families and friends so that's that.

However, what I would like to share with you is my own roller coaster change of opinion regarding the post diagnostic procedure based on the invaluable medical advice from my gynaecologist, Dr Miguel A. Cogorno.

Guillermo and I like the kind doctor very much; he had always been keen to explain the more scientific or biological aspects of the pregnancy, and later the miscarriage, to us even when he had a roomful of patients waiting at his reception area. He is also very willing to speak in English which I've heard a lot of doctors won't although most of them speak it fluently.

When we visited him for our first ultrasound, he encouraged us to read in English on the subject of pregnancy because local resources are not as comprehensive. He also reassured me that he understands that patients from an Anglo-Saxon background tend to ask more scientific questions, unlike his porteña clients, and he would help to ease any doubt I might have.

While he didn't necessarily agree with my concerns over ultrasound, he respected my view and apologised when he had to refer me to have another one done at the Medicus Centre. It has always been very clear that he has none of that old-school "Doctor is God" attitude which is still common in this country.

So when he advised me to wait for a natural miscarriage to occur, I was puzzled. While I usually prefer that nature takes its course, I couldn't understand why a simple dilation & curettage procedure was not scheduled in this case. Evidently, I had been reading too many postings on the Baby Center bulletin board full of grieving mums comparing their D&C experience.

Ironically, I am a very healthy person so I had to wait for more than two weeks before it happened. It was a difficult two weeks in limbo; one wants to move forward in life and waiting around for physical pain is not exactly morale enhancing. During those weeks, I became quite angry at times. I talked myself into thinking D&C was the best way to move forward. Looking back, it just shows how our decisions are often influenced by others' experience.

With this frame of mind, we went back into Dr Cogorno's office on Thursday. He was really gentle and supportive; he checked my blood test result and told me everything looked encouraging. He then proceeded to an ultrasound to determine when the miscarriage would happen. He was thorough in explaining what was happening and what I was to expect in the coming days.

Then, we questioned him about the D&C, why it is common in the U.S. or U.K. and not here, etc.

This was when he thoroughly impressed me. He explained that they used to go straight to the D&C and in later years realised that it is actually better to have the least intrusion in an already traumatised body. He added that this change in approach seems to work in cases where the woman would listen and could control her emotions. He assured me that if nothing were to happen by our next appointment the following week, he would definitely schedule a D&C. The good doctor even made sure my appointment will be on the day he has the least pregnant patients, bless him.

Just like clockwork, I started miscarrying as soon as I got home. Reluctantly, I took painkillers per manufacturer's instruction every few hours. It was the most excruciating 10 hours of pain I had ever experienced. Friday was not much better although the pain came and went, leaving me a few hours to get some rest. It was physically exhausting to say the least.

I am really glad that my doctor insisted I waited; I feel weak at the moment but otherwise, fine. He has always said that the body heals faster and better with a natural miscarriage; and now, I am truly convinced. I've also learnt that researching on the internet is great but keeping an open mind and commonsense is much more important.